How Bubbles and Two Magic Words Can Change Your Conversations

by Karen Nash

"The purpose of a man's heart is like deep water, but a person of understanding will draw it out.  
Proverbs 20:5



It is a gift when someone takes the time to explore who you are and what God has put in your heart.  It takes intentionality to do that and do it well.  That is what a coach does.

As a coach, I've learned two things that can help someone explore more of the deep waters of their heart.

1.  Notice the bubbles.  
In deep waters, when there's something below the surface, you know it is down there when bubbles appear on the surface of the water.  Often, bubbles can be easy to overlook or dismiss.  Focus on noticing bubbles, and you'll discover people are bubbling over.  Why? Because people are created with deep, good hearts and there are big and small things that have yet to be explored within them.

So what do the bubbles look like?  Great question.

• A word, phrase or topic that keeps getting mentioned
• What is said with more emotion or intensity
• What makes their eyes light up
• What gets them excited and animated
• What seems important

2.  Use the two magic words when bubbles appear.
What are those two words?  Simple -- "Say more."  I know it may feel awkward at first to try out those two words, but you'll be surprised how responsive people are to them and how they actually appreciate them.

I used this just the other day with my daughter.  She said just a sentence-worth about something God was teaching her.  It seemed important, so I just said, "Say more," in response.  Without skipping a beat, she then continued, expounding on what had only been just an initial, short thought.  Her clarity and joy increased as she explored it further, and I got to enjoy more of her and what was in her heart that I wouldn't have gotten without the two magic words.

Think of someone you'd like to try this with -- your spouse, a child, a friend, a coworker, someone you coach or mentor. Look for the bubbles and when you notice them come up, use, "Say more."  Enjoy what follows and how it adds meaning to them and you.  

By the way, you can even use this in your relationship with God.  If there is something that keeps coming up or that seems important as you talk with God, you can just respond to Him with, "Say more."  Afterall, He has a deep heart for you.

---